Milk Bath // Aeryn Walker
Photography: Mark Boyle
Milk Bath // Aeryn Walker
Photography: Mark Boyle
I think I should shoot more elf pictures! Agree? Y / Y? ;)
This is what happens when I go through old photos while listening to Nox Arcana and think about playing Demon: The Fallen
Last night at boardgames night, I won Small Worlds! Also played Terra Mystica and BSG with all the expansions, first time playing with Daybreak.
Flashback Friday! First shoot with my favorite toy, hehehe :D
Hardcore pics + vids » NaughtyNerdy.com
Last weekends LARP was heaps of fun, it was my first larp weekend. We left on Friday after I’d stayed up for hours the night before finishing off my winter cloak which I made out of some fabric and a duvet, because it was so cold! The place was nice, it was held at a scout camp which I’d been to another section of before.
I have some pretty debilitating social anxiety (I leave the house maybe twice a month and I don’t talk to people nearly ever. I’m a molerat hermit, I like it inside where it’s quiet, dark, warm and there is a computer!), and so was pretty nervous about rp on Friday. I was even too nervous to admit when asked if anyone hadn’t done combat safety training before and needed it that my friend literally pushed me all the way to the front of the group and said “She does!”. I promptly tried to melt into the ground but it didn’t work. I feel silly holding a sword, but it did make me less nervous. Luckily I didn’t have to use one over the weekend, I had spell packets instead :3
We all hung out in the tavern area Friday night when the game started and I got into the hang of it pretty quickly. I didn’t really speak to many people and honestly just got drunk until a woman came up to rp with me and we hit it off right away. She was really nice, clearly shy like myself and she had a quiet voice and kind face. It turns out she was the only other alchemist there besides me so I hung out with her for most of the weekend aside from when she was helping out NPC.
I played an Elvish mage, with a few magey powers (bolt, whee!) and some knowledge’s like alchemy and languages. I actually got to solve some puzzles while I was there and was able to actual solve them, not just say ‘hey gm I have x skill’. Old elvish and Golbish- soon I will know you! Learned a little bit about how to decode languages (I’m unsure of the term for this) as I had the help of a gentleman who seemed to know quite a bit about it. Swift work between the two of us! ^_^ I managed to make 2 healing draughts also and collect some herbs. The ONLY vendor charged so much for them, so hopefully I can undercut the vendor when I arrive next time :D
Lots of little politics stuff going on mostly. Unfortunately the GMs had 18 NPCs, which dropped to only 4 for the actual weekend over night so there was no notice to recruit more, eep! That of course made it super difficult for them to do much, and I think to say they where stressed was an understatement. Brand new home brew larp and that happens, blah. Enough to drive anyone loopy. It was still really fun though. There where a few planned things that still happened and TBH it was so freaking cold I didn’t mind staying in the tavern and solving puzzles!
I did end up winning a mage evocation contest out of sheer dumb luck as one of the others slurred his casting, and he was the one who knocked me out of the ring. I won a magic focus thingy which is nice. It’s what I have to drop if disarmed, so having 2 will be handy as I only have to drop one. A few other uses also, and if I don’t use it it’s worth 3GP. For the whole weekend I only managed to hit 2 targets with my spells. I’m the worst aim T.T It was pretty funny though!!
Everyone was much nicer than I thought. Everyone was polite to me, no one mentioned my anxiety issues (periodic stuttering, shaky hands, eye twitch) at all. A few people seemed surprised that ‘someone like me’ (what does that even mean?? I’m a normal person!!) would have those kinds of problems. That was a bit awkward but they let it go and yeah, easy :) I guess I just looked like a bumbling academic mage, haha ^_^
There is another game coming up soon and I’m not sure how I’m going to use my XP. I can’t do alchemy, spellcraft or linguistics at the same time, past level 3 I need to join a guild and they are all mutually exclusive so I’m going to have to decide what I want to do. Got an invite to the Mages Guild for when I meet the reqs though so that’s nice. More reading through the rules needed I think so I can make the best choice before the next game.
I’m not sure there are any pics of me from the weekend. I didn’t take any myself, I jst wanted to focus on rp so I didn’t freak myself out. If any pop up I’ll ask the other players if I can share them! :D
TLDR: First fantasy larp was super awesome whee things
Ravenclaw Sex Bizness!
All the pics / vids: NaughtyNerdy.com
Back in October 2011 I wrote a post about the rise of gamer girl hate and ‘fake’ geek girl, slut shaming nonsense. I didn’t think it could get much worse than it was back then, but instance after instance I was proved wrong and apparently this is still a thing we are talking about. I’m constantly being asked about my feelings on these subjects and tbh my feelings and experiences are the same as they where back in 2011, so rehash time it is.
There is a massive rise in what I see as a new hatred phenomenon against attractive women who are openly gamers , geeks or nerds. Abuse is consistently thrown my way for being an openly proud gamer and porn performer so I decided to write this piece before tonight’s Cherchex La Femme: Feminism and Gaming event.
It’s my personal experiences and perspective on the reasons behind gamer girl and sex worker hatred, and why this stereotype and the use of it to abuse people needs to disappear.
I am a woman and I am a gamer. I am also incidentally working in the pornography industry.
Lately I’ve noticed something that I believe has become a phenomenon; and that is the intense hatred, dismissal and disregard for ‘sexy gamer girls’. (Who are often referred too as fake gamer girls as if they are one in the same.)
It is already difficult for female gamers and geeks to be taken seriously. Often I find women have to prove their gamer or nerd cred to avoid being excluded, harassed or bullied. This of course doesn’t appear to happen to men very often if at all. A guy wearing an eve online shirt isn’t expected to defend himself about his hobbies, choices and interests at the drop of a hat. He probably also won’t be considered a poser, talentless at gaming or an airhead should he enjoy playing The Sims or Cooking Mama along with Call of Duty, Warcraft or Dungeons and Dragons. However as I woman I will be judged.
As a woman I get ranked on the scale of what a ‘real’ gamer is and my interests and skill are constantly in question simply because of my gender. I am also judged to a much harsher degree. So what if I don’t like shooters, or once in a while I like to play ‘feminine’ games? To suggest I am not a ‘real’ gamer because I don’t only play games which are ‘men’s games’ like CoD, Starcraft, Halo etc is sexist and ignorant. I am not any less of a gamer for those things, nor am I any less of a gamer because my career and my sexuality are linked.
There are so many offensive stereotypes and perceptions about female gamers and even more about adult workers like me who make their hobbies like gaming openly part of their lives or career. The assumption is generally that I’m just some airhead trying to make money off a niche I know nothing about. Except that of course I’m not an airhead and I know exactly what I’m talking about when it comes to things that I enjoy like gaming.
As a pro non-exploitative pornography feminist my business and the way I present myself online is very important to me. There is too much porn that is degrading and demeaning, which forces women to completely disregard their own personalities, interests and sexual enjoyments for the benefit of male consumers. It asks them to become the stereotype of the always ready bimbo with no real depth or personality. This is something I do not want for my business or for myself. My work isn’t just a job; it’s incredibly personal. I put myself completely into my work and I don’t pretend to be anything but what I am. My work is about real sexuality, respect, love and sensuality. I often talk about and plan my work around my hobbies and interests, which are mainly fashion and gaming and even taking my work out of the equation these things are big part of my life and I want to show that to the world.
Being told that because I’m an adult worker, I should conform to the depthless bimbo stereotype and not discuss, enjoy or include my legitimate passions like gaming into my work because together they are too offensive; is in itself completely offensive. I should not be expected to not follow my dreams, which are inherently linked my sexuality and sexual identity as a respectful exhibitionist, erotica lover and a sexually healthy and liberated person. My work, sexuality, personality, interests and my pursuits are not all mutually exclusive and nor should they have to be.
There is concern that ‘people like me’ enforce a very sexist and negative stereotype about female gamers. That stereotype is that any female gamer who isn’t fat, old, ugly or rude (another fremale gaming stereotype) is a slutty, hot blonde deviant with fake tits who can’t play games, and only tries for male attention or profit. This stereotype is a real problem. It is an offensive and immature male wet dream which unquestionably hurts the female gamers who don’t want to be placed in either the ugly/bitch or the slutty/fake categories- they just damn well want to play games and be free of judgement. (As do I!)
Of course, there are those who do only play games for male attention, money or popularity now that gaming has become a mainstream pastime. I think over all it is certainly not their fault that they conform to that stereotype and try to appeal to the male gaze. After all, we as women are really conditioned from birth by society to believe that our worth and goals revolve around our attractiveness and being approved of in various forms by men. However; that is not what I am. And that is not something you can tell simply by looking at the fact I state I like games and that I like and perform in pornography.
It offends me greatly to be told that people like me not only are responsible for enforcing this stereotype, but we are responsible for creating it. I find the argument that I am personally to blame for the segregation, sexualisation and abuse of female gamers simply because I am not afraid to include my hobbies into my personal sexual exhibitionism is very similar to arguments used by first and second wave feminists who blamed women who enjoyed things such as wearing makeup, high heels and acting in a traditionally feminine way for the ills of man and for their own oppression.
Of course, forcing all women to comply to a certain beauty standard, mode of dress or sexual code of conduct is undoubtedly oppressing and disgusting. And not just women; anyone! Not everyone likes the color pink, traditionally girly items and activities such as sewing and baking. But many women do like those things- and not because they were brainwashed to do so. Telling women how they should or should not be is wrong- and more so, telling people that enjoying what make them who they are means they are responsible or deserving of abuse and oppression is wrong. People should be free to make their own choices regardless of their gender, and this applies to gaming and sex.
“This is what a proper girl gamer is and this is not” is a rhetoric I am growing very tired of, very quickly. Sadly enough I find more often than not this pigeon holing and these accusations coming from other women and even worse, from my feminist sisters. I find it often based off a hatred of sex workers and stereotypes about them which are just as offensive and harmful as the ones I apparently am responsible for as a sex worker. It also comes from a place of elitism. Degrading, insulting and making assumptions about people like me and how ‘real’ I am as a gamer or a person to try and separate yourself from offensive stereotypes isn’t helpful.
I don’t assume that you are a prude, an elitist, fat, ugly, old, a dyke or any other slur, or ruse/ offensive stereotype because games, sex and the sex industry aren’t you’re cup of tea.
So please don’t assume that I’m some air-headed, disease ridden, talentless (in any way), poser simply because my sexuality, my business and my hobbies interconnect. I am no less of a gamer for being a porn performer than than I am any less of a feminist for liking pink things and unicorns. Slut-shaming, whorephobia and elitism is never ok. Stereotypes hurt all of us.
I bet you’d be happy to find this easter bunny in your back yard!
» Via NaughtyNerdy.com
Fuku love! Friday means more time for BGC2040!!
More pics >here<
my After Porn Interview is now up on YouTube!Chatting with Miley White about a day of public outdoor filming porn in my fantasy, medieval inspired elvish outfit! Fishermen, motorbikes and nearly falling into rivers, Oh my! :p
Full photo/video sets shot are now live on my site :)